under the weather

What is it with Britain that we all spend the dark months waiting for summer, carefully crafting 'come on summer' lines on our MySpace’s, finding summery pictures just to cheer ourselves up, and then after all that waiting and expecting when it all comes down to it our 'summer months' are spent as knee deep in water as the rest of the time. And what's worse is the endless swimwear adverts strewn throughout the high street, making us feel a bit shy about stripping down to anything smaller than a tunic. That is, of course, if the great power in the sky turns off the taps long enough for there to be any point in swimming; these days you don't need a pool to get soaking wet.

And when nature isn’t emptying the Atlantic Ocean above our heads, we’re hit by winds that could quite literally blow you over. Now don’t take this the wrong way, I love mother nature and I know us and our food need water but seriously, there’s watering the flaming plants and drowning them! No wonder there are deserts, all the rains coming to Britain for a lovely seaside holiday instead.

Another thing I can think to moan about that’s related to the weather is umbrellas, AKA my arch nemesis. One time I actually managed to cut my hand open with one of these ridiculous contraptions. It isn’t the normal brollies I hate, no, but the new-fangled fold up ones. Yes, they are useful, and you can fit them in your bag but they break within about 5 seconds of being outside. The only other alternative is a coat. If anyone knows where I can get a nice, waterproof coat that doesn’t belong in the bin, email me.